英语笑话（150字）150字的英语笑话最好对给几个,有中文翻译.立意不可设计宗教和不健康题材.一定要字数过关立意最好和动物有关。

英语笑话（150字）150字的英语笑话最好对给几个,有中文翻译.立意不可设计宗教和不健康题材.一定要字数过关立意最好和动物有关。
英语笑话（150字）
150字的英语笑话
最好对给几个,有中文翻译.
立意不可设计宗教和不健康题材.
一定要字数过关
立意最好和动物有关。

英语笑话（150字）150字的英语笑话最好对给几个,有中文翻译.立意不可设计宗教和不健康题材.一定要字数过关立意最好和动物有关。
Dinner's ready
My cooking has always been the target of family jokes.One evening,as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly,the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off.Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school,they did not respond to the alarm.Annoyed,I stormed through the house in search of them.
I found them in the bathroom,washing their hands.Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm,I asked them to identify the sound.
It's the smoke detector,they replied in unison.
Do you know what that sound means?I demanded.
Sure,my oldest replied.Dinner's ready.
晚饭准备好了
我的烧饭手艺向来是家庭笑话的攻击目标.一天晚上,晚餐我准备得有点儿太快了,厨房里充满了烟,结果烟雾探查器报起警来.尽管我的两个孩子都在学校里接受过防火安全训练,可是他们并没有对报警声作出反应.我感到很恼火,满幢房子乱冲寻找他们.
我在洗澡间找到他们,发现他们正在洗手.我的声音盖过了烟雾警报的嗡嗡声,我叫他们辨别那声音.
“是烟雾探查器,”他们异口同声地说.
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate,a plump,middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind,lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back.Her momentum carried her close to my shoes.Before I could help her,however,she had scrambled up.Gaining her composure,she winked at me and said,"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车.接近门口,一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚,仰面滑倒了.她的惯性使她接近了我的脚.我正准备扶她,她却自己爬了起来.她镇定了一下,对我挤了一下眉,说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”
Three Men in a Boat
Three men were sitting on a park bench.The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish.They baited imaginary hooks,cast lines and reeled in their catch.
A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.
"Oh yes," he said."They are my friends.
"In that case," warned the officer,"you'd better get them out of here!"
"Yes,sir," the man replied,and he began rowing furiously.
三人同舟
三位男子在公园的长椅上坐着.中间的一个在读报纸,另外两个在假装钓鱼.他们给想象的鱼钩上鱼饵,放线,并卷线把鱼抓上来.
一位过路警察驻足观察了这个景象,他问中间的那个男子是否认识其他两位.
“喔,认识,”他说,“他们是我的朋友.”
“那样的话,”警察告诫说,“你最好把他们从这里弄走.”
“好的,警官.”那男子回答说,接着就开始疯狂般地做起划桨的动作来.
The ability of the Kangaroo
The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo,but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside.The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet,but the kangaroo got out again.Exasperated,the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet,but the kangaroo still escaped.A giraffe asked the kangaroo,"How high do you think they'll build the fence?"
"I don't know," said the kangaroo."Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.
袋鼠的能力
动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙.但是第二天早上,人们发现这动物在围墙外面蹦跳着.于是围墙高度增加到十五英尺,但袋鼠还是跑了出来.动物园经理甚感恼火,又叫人把围墙高度加到三十英尺,但袋鼠还是逃了出来.一个长颈鹿问袋鼠：“你认为他们会把围墙建到多高?”

He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干...

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He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
Advice for "Kid"
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."
忠告“年轻者”
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，
千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

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The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered...

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The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗？
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

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Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tel...

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Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
2. The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
3. The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"
4. A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

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