请帮我看下这篇英语作文,哪里能修改哪里能改进.谢谢!图片大概就是一堆人围在桌子上,年青一代都拿着手机,平板之类的,爷爷奶奶都很不开心的样子作文是: The picture is show that in ahome’s din

请帮我看下这篇英语作文,哪里能修改哪里能改进.谢谢!图片大概就是一堆人围在桌子上,年青一代都拿着手机,平板之类的,爷爷奶奶都很不开心的样子作文是: The picture is show that in ahome’s din
请帮我看下这篇英语作文,哪里能修改哪里能改进.谢谢!

图片大概就是一堆人围在桌子上,年青一代都拿着手机,平板之类的,爷爷奶奶都很不开心的样子

作文是:

    The picture is show that in ahome’s dinner, all the family sitting around the desk, although the has lots offood on desk, the people who is teenage all play the telephone, including thelittle boy, there are happy when they watch the screen. On the contrary, the grandfatherand grandmother are unhappy.

    I am guilt when I see this picture because sometimes,I play the telephone in the dinner, too. But it is wrong, I think. A gooddinner is family talking each other. And all the family are happy. Although thetechnologic make some good effective to our live, a coin has two sides. Some disadvantageis derive from technologic because the use is untrue. First of all, I think thetechnologic is really good for us, making our live convenience. Then, if usethe technologic untrue will lead to some bad result, biggest like the war or smallestlike the picture show. Finally, I suggest that people should ride out thevirtual when do something like make a dinner, talking about the parents is agood choose.

    All in all, in my opinion ,use the technologic true will make ourworld flowers blooming like a piece of brocade.

请帮我看下这篇英语作文,哪里能修改哪里能改进.谢谢!图片大概就是一堆人围在桌子上,年青一代都拿着手机,平板之类的,爷爷奶奶都很不开心的样子作文是: The picture is show that in ahome’s din

The picture is show 有语法问题,改成：The picture shows

Home's dinner改成：family dinner

all the family sitting around the desk 却动词,另外吃饭用的桌子一般用table. 所以改成：all the family members are sitting around the table

although the has 改成：although there is a lot of food o the table.

直接说：all the tennage are playing the cell phones.

There are happy when they watch the screen---they are

I am guilt----I feel guilty

I play the ---I also play the telephone at dinner

a good dinner is...-----------A good dinner atmosphere shall be all the family members talking to each other and all of them should be happy.

太多要改的了.